Fluffy Socks

 

You could wear them for sliding across a slidy floor,

Or save them for wearing when you’re going out to score.

If you work for the feds you can wear them on your beat,

And if you’re a civvy you can wear them on your feet.

They come in different colours, like pink or green or blue.

Wear matching ones or odd ones, that’s entirely up to you.

At your office ‘Secret Santa’ some twat you don’t like

Will get you some for Christmas when you asked Santa for a bike.

But this should be enjoyed and should cause no discontent,

‘Cause during their creation many hours were spent

Putting elephants, sheeps and monkeys into these designs,

Which makes them go rather splendidly with pairs of Calvin Kleins.

Most are made from cotton, rare ones made of camel hair,

But those are just for posh blokes who are feeling debonair.

They get worn by the Beckhams, and Tom and Katie Cruise,

They’re worn by Johnny Depp while he sips his breakfast booze.

So if you’re poor or wealthy, young or old or have a beard,

Wear your fluffy socks with pride – who cares if you look weird?